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Movie Review: The Conjuring

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“From ghoulies and ghosties. And long-leggedy beasties. And things that go bump in the night, Good Lord, deliver us!”

The Scots have a great prayer there.  And for decades, real-life couple Ed and Lorraine Warren did their level best to help folks who suffered from beyond-the-norm problems.  The Conjuring is a film that gives the couple the big screen treatment…and it’s a throwback to the good ol’ fashioned scare-you-pantsless spookfests of the 70s.  Loved The Changeling, Ghost Story and The Amityville Horror (which, by the way, is also a case the Warrens worked on…)?  Baby, you’re gonna love The Conjuring.  This film starts off with an opening sequence that takes off with a serious case of spooky, giving the audience a heads-up; this is gonna be a bumpy night.  Oh yes, yes it is.  Okay I’ll say it; The Conjuring is looking like the best horror film of 2013.  And yes, that’s taking into account the Evil Dead remake earlier this year, the fact that a new Carrie is coming to town for Halloween, and that Director James Wan’s Insidious: Chapter 2 hits theaters this September.

The story is simple; a couple (Lili Taylor and Ron Livingston)  sinks their savings into a house that’s roomy enough for them their five girls.  Said roomy house starts with the creepy occurrences almost right off the bat.  After one particularly harsh night of bangs, thumps and physical attacks, the family call on paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren (Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga) for help.  But the Warrens have handled a few cases that have taken a toll on Lorraine — including a creepy doll that tried to kill it’s owners — and this may be one too many.  And even so, it’s going to take a lot to figure out what’s going on at the Perron house, along with the why, and how to get it to stop….

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Want passes to the Baltimore screening of Wolverine? How well do you know Hugh?

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UPDATE: Alrighty y’all — WOLVERINE SCREENING PASSES HAVE ALL BEEN GIVEN OUT.

Thank you guys so, so much for playing along!

C’mon.  X-men rule.  And this one-character movie should be awesome…because it’s WOLVERINE y’all!

In case you need more info on the story, our PR powerhouses have got you covered:

Based on the celebrated comic book arc, this epic action-adventure takes Wolverine (Hugh Jackman), the most iconic character of the X-Men universe, to modern day Japan. Out of his depth in an unknown world he faces his ultimate nemesis in a life-or-death battle that will leave him forever changed. Vulnerable for the first time and pushed to his physical and emotional limits, he confronts not only lethal samurai steel but also his inner struggle against his own immortality, emerging more powerful than we have ever seen him before.

Sure, the movie opens July 26th.  But why not see it on July 23rd?  Wanna know how?  Read on, my friends.  Read on….

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Movie Review: Pacific Rim

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Big-ass monsters!  Ginormous robots!  Tons of things getting crunched, blown up and otherwise decimated!  Then why didn’t I love Pacific Rim?  That’s the question that rattled around in my head as I left the theater.  For all of it’s glorious spectacle — and there’s an awful lot of glorious spectacle here — Pacific Rim is like the giant “Jaeger” robots that the film focuses on; beautiful, awe-inspiring but hollow.

That’s not to say that there isn’t fun to be had here.  This is the perfect movie to turn off your brain (seriously; giant mechanical robots fighting kaiju?  It’s the perfect summer blockbuster) and dig into the Good ‘n Plentys.  But if you’re searching for heart and soul in this robot, you’re outta luck.  Pacific Rim plays it straight throughout it’s 2 hours plus, which lets a lot of the fun leak out of the film.  What this movie needed was more tongue-in-cheek.  Yes, there are a few bits of humor here and there, but when it happens it feels more like a transplant from a different film than an integral part of the story.

And the story has definite promise.  It’s the year 2020, seven years after gigantic creatures started to rise from the depths of the Pacific (probably the super-deep Marina Trench, though I’m not sure if it’s ever pinpointed).  “The Breach”, as it’s called, is a rift between worlds that allow these kaiju (Japanese for “strange beast”, for those not in the know) into our world.  And these ginormous Godzilla nightmares have one thing on their mind; the destruction of the human race.  Naturally.

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Movie Review: Despicable Me 2

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I coudn’t wait to see Despicable Me when it came to theaters.  Mostly because I met a minion; actually I met two.  Yep.  Walking down the streets of DC, I saw two minions just hangin’ around the area theater.  Of course I had to give ’em a hug.  Because they’re awesome.  The great thing about Despicable Me was that even beyond the minion-ness, it was a great story about how a man becomes who he was always meant to be.  A dad to three adorable kids.

Well, these kids are a little bit older, but the minions are still the same.  Does Despicable Me 2 bring the funny?  Yes.  Is it as good as the first film?  Well, yes and no.  With retired super-villain Gru now a nice guy, there’s no wondering if he’ll be good or bad.  Gru has joined the Anti-Villain League and is spending most of his time trying to make jams and jellies.  Instead, the story focuses on a “will he or won’t he” romance with his secret-agent partner Lucy.  But the folks behind DM2 know what you want, and bring it to you in spades.  So if you’re wanting a new minion fix?  It’s gonna be your lucky day.  If you’re looking for a story beyond the basics, you may be a little nonplussed.  But hey; minions!

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Free Baltimore Screening: Grown Ups 2 — July 10th, 2013

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I gotta say I’m loving this movie poster.  And that the stars of Grown Ups 2 are cool with having their high school-ness out there, large and in charge.  (Nice popped collar there, Kevin James!)

Seen Grown Ups?  Wanna know what’s in store in Grown Ups 2?  Here’s the info from our wonderful PR folks:

The all-star comedy cast from Grown Ups returns (with some exciting new additions) for more summertime laughs. Lenny (Adam Sandler) has relocated his family back to the small town where he and his friends grew up. This time around, the grown ups are the ones learning lessons from their kids on a day notoriously full of surprises: the last day of school.

So this not only sounds like a hoot, it sounds like a good summertime laugh.  Who doesn’t love the last day of school?

And who doesn’t love free passes?  Read on to find out how to grab one for yourself!

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Free Baltimore screening: The Conjuring – July 16th, 2013

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It’s hot outside.  I’m stating a fact.  And kinda whining a little.  Okay, a lot.  So why not beat the heat with a cold chill running down your spine?  Because we’ve got passes to the Baltimore screening of The Conjuring y’all!

Yes, it’s a horror movie.  And it’s based on a real-life couple.  Wanna know more?  Our pulchritudinous PR posse has given us the deets:

Before there was Amityville, there was Harrisville.  Based on the true life story, “The Conjuring” tells the tale of how world renowned paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren were called upon to help a family terrorized by a dark presence in a secluded farmhouse.

Forced to confront a powerful demonic entity, the Warrens find themselves caught in the most horrifying case of their lives.

From New Line Cinema comes a feature film drawn from the case files of married demonologists Ed and Lorraine Warren.  “The Conjuring” stars Academy Award® nominee Vera Farmiga (“Up in the Air,” TV’s “Bates Motel”) and Patrick Wilson (“Insidious,”) as the Warrens, and Ron Livingston (“The Odd Life of Timothy Green”) and Lili Taylor (TV’s “Hemlock Grove”) as Roger and Carolyn Perron, residents of the house.

Joey King, Shanley Caswell, Haley McFarland, Mackenzie Foy and newcomer Kyla Deaver play the Perrons’ five daughters, and Sterling Jerins is the Warrens’ little girl, Judy. Rounding out the cast are Marion Guyot as Judy’s grandmother; Steve Coulter as Father Gordan, Shannon Kook as the Warren’s investigative assistant, Drew; and John Brotherton as the local law enforcement official skeptical of the Perron’s claims and the Warrens’ tactics.

James Wan (the “Saw,” “Insidious”) directs from a screenplay by Chad Hayes & Carey W. Hayes (“The Reaping”).  The film is produced by Tony DeRosa-Grund, Peter Safran and Rob Cowan, with Walter Hamada and Dave Neustadter serving as executive producers.  Reuniting with the director are members of his “Insidious” creative team, director of photography John R. Leonetti, editor Kirk Morri, costume designer Kristin M. Burke, composer Joseph Bishara and his “Saw” production designer, Julie Berghoff.

New Line Cinema presents a Safran Company / Evergreen Media Group Production of a James Wan Film, “The Conjuring.”  Opening July 19, 2013, the film will be distributed by Warner Bros. Pictures, a Warner Bros. Entertainment Company.

You know how it goes; read on to see how to score a pass for yourself.  If you DARE….

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Movie Review: White House Down

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Oh Roland Emmerich.  I love you and your absolutely crazypants way of channeling the American psyche.  The Day After Tomorrow, 2012, Independence Day…hell, I even enjoyed your Godzilla.  Because even with all the preposterous bombastic goings-on, your movies have heart.  Now, with White House Down, you’ve whipped up another mix of patently unbelievable but still compelling and enjoyable fluff.  Dude, thank you.

With White House Down — not to be confused with Olympus Has Fallen from earlier this year — there’s the typical President-in-peril plotline.  The Prez is at risk, and it’s up to someone who has never reached his potential to save the day.  Though I find it hard to believe that Channing Tatum has never reached his potential.  Phwoar.

Tatum plays Cale, a DC cop that is looking to become a Secret Service agent.  He scores an interview, along with passes to the White House so he can bring his President-fannish daughter along.  But wouldn’t you know it, just as soon as Cale gets the heave-ho from his interview (it didn’t help that he was being interviewed by Agent Finnerty, a woman who knew him back in his crazy frat-boy days), a group of scary paramilitary psychos take over the White House.  The psychos kill everyone that’s holding a gun, leaving Cale, Our Hero, to save the day.  But how’s he gonna get the Prez and his own daughter out of there alive?  The best way America knows how; superior firepower baby.

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Geeky Giveaway: World War Z soundtracks!

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The movie came a’tcha at the speed of sound.  So isn’t it just and right that you get your hands on the soundtrack?  Y’know, the soundtrack by Muse and Marco “I wrote the soundtrack for Scream” Beltrami that Huffington Post says is “Perfect”?  Yes, you need it.  Here at Geek for e, we’d like to help you with that.

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We’ve got 4 copies of the original soundtrack to World War Z, and we’re giving ’em away!  Yes, yes we are.  How to you win yourself a copy?  It’s easy.

What’s your favorite horror movie music?  The Exorcist‘s “Tubular Bells”?  Or maybe when John Carpenter tweaked that score for Halloween?  Jaws‘ scary-cool DA-DUM?  Or the 80s throwdown of The Lost Boys?

THERE’S NO WRONG ANSWER FOLKS.  I’m just curious.  And I’ll pick four winners from among the entries.

How to enter?  Oh, you know the drill.  Send me an email with the subject line “Surviving The Zombie Apocalypse With Muse“.  Include your name, snail-mail address (how else am I gonna get it to you?) and a bit about your favorite horror movie music.  That’s it.  Do it by Monday, July 1st at 5:00pm and you could be a winner!

No guarantees that Muse’s music will soothe the savage zombie, however.  For defeating the hordes of undead you’re on your own.

But if you’re holding a copy of the World War Z soundtrack?  Just know I’ll be jealous of you as I sprint away from the infected.

(NOTE: This giveaway is for US folks only.  Because I’m too cheap to send out to winners overseas.  There, I said it.)

Geek for e’s got Pacific Rim screening passes…for you? Yeah baby.

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Pacific Rim.  You’ve seen the trailer, or the television commercials.  Big ol’ monsters coming out of the depths of the sea, and humans needing to build big ol’ robots to fight ’em.  This could be THE summer blockbuster of the season y’all.  And we’ve got passes.  Woot!

For those of you that need more info, here’s the synopsis from our lovely and talented PR folks:

When legions of monstrous creatures, known as Kaiju, started rising from the sea, a war began that would take millions of lives and consume humanity’s resources for years on end.

To combat the giant Kaiju, a special type of weapon was devised: massive robots, called Jaegers, which are controlled simultaneously by two pilots whose minds are locked in a neural bridge.  But even the Jaegers are proving nearly defenseless in the face of the relentless Kaiju.  On the verge of defeat, the forces defending mankind have no choice but to turn to two unlikely heroes—a washed up former pilot (Charlie Hunnam) and an untested trainee (Rinko Kikuchi)—who are teamed to drive a legendary but seemingly obsolete Jaeger from the past.  Together, they stand as mankind’s last hope against the mounting apocalypse.

Ready for some monstrous action?  Me too — read on for how to score a pass for yourownself!

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Free screening of RED 2 in Baltimore this Thursday! Want passes?

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Of course you want passes.  I’d want passes!  And hey, I’ve got passes.  So here they are y’all!

The gist of this sequel?  Why yes, our PR folks have given us one.  Because they love you too.

In RED 2, the high-octane action-comedy sequel to the worldwide sleeper hit, retired black-ops CIA agent Frank Moses reunites his unlikely team of elite operatives for a global quest to track down a missing portable nuclear device. To succeed, they’ll need to survive an army of relentless assassins, ruthless terrorists and power-crazed government officials, all eager to get their hands on the next-ge neration weapon. The mission takes Frank and his motley crew to Paris, London and Moscow. Outgunned and outmanned, they have only their cunning wits, their old-school skills, and each other to rely on as they try to save the world—and stay alive in the process.

Since this screening is this Thursday, let’s just cut to the good stuff, yeah?

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