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Movie Review: Labor Day

“And I know it’s true that visions are seldom all they seem….”

Yeah, that’s from Sleeping Beauty (and the upcoming Maleficent).  But that line of lyrics suits this film perfectly too.  Because Labor Day’s outer crust of “man on the lam forcing a woman and her tween-age son to shelter him” hides a softer, sweeter filling.  If Labor Day was a pie, it’d be a perfect combination of sweet and savory, not too gooey; a pie tasty enough to have me thinking of seconds.

Why the pie metaphor?  Easy.  Because Labor Day also has the sexiest damn pie in the history of pie.  Yes I know you exist, American Pie.  But you get the silver here.  Labor Day is based on the novel by Joyce Maynard, and if you doubt the hotness of this pivotal scene?  Check out the way it plays out in Maynard’s novel.  Understand me now?  Yeah, thought you would.

Labor_Day_collage

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Review: Ride Along

Ride Along

So, to say I had high expectations going into Ride Along would be a lie. I went into the theater thinking I would bear witness to a watered down version of The Heat (2013) with Kevin Hart playing Mellissa McCarthy and Ice Cube playing Sandra Bullock.  I must admit, though, when I first heard about this film, I was hoping for a glorious mix of 48 Hours and Bad Boys.  What I got in the end was something entirely different.

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TwitView: The Nut Job (2014) B+

Great voices led by Will Arnett and a perfectly surly villain in Liam Neeson.  Kids will enjoy it but it’s really for the boys.  3D showing of nuts and popcorn so real you’ll reach out, good story of friendship and helping your tribe in times of need.  B+

Surly the squirrel recruits a wayward doggie

Surly the squirrel recruits a wayward doggie

The Legend of Hercules: mythologically bad.

Twitview: Avoid. The stills from this film are better than the film itself. 1 out of 5

Renny Harlin harkens back to his Cutthroat Island days with The Legend of Hercules, a film so derivative and dull that I’m shocked it took me 45 minutes to want to check Candy Crush Saga. Hercules is a mish-mosh of 300, The Matrix, and Braveheart (let’s take back our kingdom y’all!), a testosterone fest too dull for even the biggest fan of bloodsport. Think Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome meets Clash of the Titans, but with no bits of humor to make it enjoyable, nor convincing storyline to make anyone care about who lives or dies.

I had high hopes for this film. A bunch of beautiful men in skirts. Not too shabby, right? Add Psychotic king and his bereaved wife, who decides to opt for a little Olympic hanky-panky. Meanwhile the heir to the throne — and Hercules’ half-brother — is a petulant wimp that couldn’t find his…purpose in life…with two hands and a road map. All of that makes for a promising hero-bent-on-revenge flick.  Ahh, empty promises.

hercules

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TwitView: Lone Survivor (2013/2014), B-

Title gives away the plot but movie shows the tough hombres it takes to be a Navy Seal.  Wahlberg’s character changes oddly in the 3rd act and not in a good way.  Very somber, almost depressing, but excellent showing of US military precision. B-

Mark Walhberg leads this pulse-pounding thriller about a covert mission to neutralize a foreign enemy.

Mark Walhberg leads this pulse-pounding thriller about a covert mission to neutralize a foreign enemy.

Movie Review — Mandela: The Long Walk To Freedom

“You alone are small.  Your people are mighty.”

 

There’s no doubt that Nelson Mandela’s life was large enough to put up on the big screen.  But Mandela: The Long Walk To Freedom (based on Mandela’s memoir of the same name) feels more like a Greatest Hits album instead of a solid hit song.  There’s a whole lot to love in this film, with many top-notch performances.  But the story shoots by at light speed, stopping on nothing long enough to truly get an in-depth look at the man.  That said, it gets bonus points for not skipping over the parts of his life that were less than heroic, like his womanizing.  Mandela: The Long Walk To Freedom may not give viewers deeper insight into the man that delivered South Africa from Apartheid, but it is an extensive and fascinating look at his life, and the events that swirled around him.

For those that only know Apartheid as a word in the dictionary, Mandela is an eye-opener.  Director Justin Chadwick (The Other Boleyn Girl, Bleak House) takes the ugly bits of South Africa’s past and puts them up on screen.  There’s some bright, happy times too; black areas of Johannesburg are shown filled with good people, good music and at first the idea of separation seems like nothing more than an inconvenience for Mandela and the rest of black South Africa.  Then the reality kicks in, as a man is mercilessly beaten to death in the street.  His crime?  Being black and a little bit tipsy.  Not bellierent, not loud, not even unkempt.  Just a man that happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.  (Which was the way it was for any black person in South Africa at that time.)  The scene is shocking and jolts you out of the pleasant earlier scenes, where Mandela the ladykiller tries — and succeeds — in wooing a woman on the dance floor.  Idris Elba (Luther, Thor) is able to shift from charming cad to heartbroken, angry friend, all the while taking you with him in every twist and turn of the world he had to navigate.

 Idris is Mandela [Read more…]