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MOVIE REVIEW: THE PLACE BEYOND THE PINES

When I learned that The Place Beyond the Pines was directed and co-written by Derek Cianfrance, the same gentleman who brought us 2010’s Blue Valentine, I predicted that one of two possible outcomes would transpire.

#1: I would leave the theatre just as depressed as I did after Blue Valentine. To be honest, for all of its (successful) efforts to depict the disintegration of a relationship, all it left me wanting to do was go home, eat chocolate, and never date again out of fear that I would end up like Cindy (Michelle Williams) and Dean (Ryan Gosling).

#2: Based on casting and the trailer alone, I projected that the movie would be a tour-de-force of dramatically epic proportions. Granted, that may seem like an extreme exaggeration; but to my defense, I have still been riding the high of Silver Linings Playbook, my favorite flick of 2012. I was expecting a lot from a film that included not just Bradley Cooper, but also Ryan Gosling.

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Movie Review: Trance

I hadn’t heard much about this film before I saw it.  Just a tidbit here and there from various fests, but nothing that stuck in my head.  Which is apt, considering Trance is a tale about the twisty-turney ways our minds can play tricks on us, and how easy it can be to manipulate what’s in your head.  Or what you think is in your head.

Simon (James McAvoy, X Men: First Class) is a high-class auctioneer.  His job — outside of trying to sell really, really expensive stuff — is to make sure that the most expensive item on offer during an auction gets dropped off into safe storage if there’s ever a robbery attempt.  The number one rule?  “No painting is worth a human life.  Don’t be a hero.”  So when suave art thief Franck (Vincent Cassel, Black Swan) comes for an extremely expensive Goya, what does Simon do?  Yeah, you guessed it.

Simon gets a severe bang on the noggin for his trouble, and he goes to hypnotherapist Elizabeth (Rosario Dawson, Rent) but that’s only the start of this story.  To discuss more would ruin the crazy Inception-meets-Memento storyline.  Who’s really the bad guy, why are characters doing what they’re doing, and are they in fact even doing them; that’s the meat of this tale.  Director Danny Boyle (Slumdog Millionaire) gets off to a choppy start — it’s hard at the beginning to continue caring about what’s going on when the story begins to shivers and spiral — but it pays off at the end.  Remember when M. Night Shamalan was fantastic?  Trance harkens back to the payoff of Unbreakable.  No superheroes here; McAvoy doesn’t turn into Professor X (though that’d be awesome).  But that same sense of wonder and pleasure at being let in on the final secret rings true here.

 
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Movie Review: Jurassic Park 3D

Yes.  I know what you’re thinking.  “Why, Denise?  Why?”  I’m guessing that Universal Pictures wanted to add a little dino action to the ever-growing list of films that are being re-done in 3D.  After the likes of 3D/IMAX showstoppers like Avatar, Final Destination 5 and Life of Pi, it’s true that Jurassic Park doesn’t have the visual chops that current CGI-laden cinematography have to offer.  But damn if Jurassic Park doesn’t give us something else; heart.  Try as they might, the 21st Century films can’t quite put their fingers on the pulse of a movie.  It’s lovely to remember a time when action films had characters you truly cared for, and a plot beyond showing you Kewl Stuff.

Harken back to 1993.  Western Europe begins the EC, Bill Clinton starts his second term, a gallon of gas was just over a dollar (and we were all still bitching about it), and two guys — Stephen Spielberg and Michael Crichton — brought us dinosaurs on the big screen.  The story about a man who wanted everyone to see real, live dinosaurs (and who had more dollars than sense) was a sensation, with special effects so spectacular they still stand up today.  And when those dinos break free of their enclosures?  Everyone felt a chill.

But how many trips to Isla Nublar does one need to take?  For me it’s innumerable, as I have the Blu-Ray box set of all three JP films.   It’s definitely worth it to see Jurassic Park up on the big screen again.  And, it’s been 20 years; there’s a whole new generation that haven’t had the pleasure of seeing humongous dinos in the dark of a multiplex.  Fancy that.  Jurassic Park may be every bit the dinosaur that it’s characters encounter, but it’s still every bit as fascinating.  All in all it’s glorious to see this movie back on the big screen, and it’s a treat for those able to head out and give it a look.

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Movie Review: Evil Dead

Evil Dead is here y’all!  Horror fans everywhere are nerd-gasaming all over the place.  It’s an ugly sight, because we don’t do quiet very well.  But I’m here to tell you that all that jumping around, panting and drooling is totally justified.  Evil Dead brings it, rocking old-school 80s horror and 21st Century savviness in equal measure.

 For moviegoers who aren’t up on their horror film history, here’s a list of the films in the Evil Dead franchise:

 * The Evil Dead (1981) — scary with bits of humor.

* Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn (1987) — an even mix of humor and horror.

* Army of Darkness (1992) — more humor than horror, but it gave us the classic line “This… is my boomstick!”  For which the nerd world is eternally grateful.

* Evil Dead (2013) — today’s primary topic of discussion.

 There’s also a short film, Within The Woods, that Sam Raimi made in 1978 that got the ball rolling.

 Okay, with me?  Then let’s get to the task at hand.  Which is me saying that if you’re into horror films, you’ve gotta see this.  Seriously.  Run out now, see it, and then come back.  I’ll be here waiting.

 Why am I so amped about this film?  Because it does what 99% of all  remakes/re-imaginings/shameless ripoff films fail to do; it gives the old-school fans a wink and a smile while keeping newbies entertained.  That’s the stuff right there.

 Plus, there’s blood.  Lots of it.  TONS of it.  It literally rains down from the sky during the climax.  It’s so over the top that it becomes another awesome bit of FX to enjoy.  I’m not saying that you should drag your nearest 10-year-old out to see this, unless you want to scar that puppy for life.  But for those of you that ook out on the red stuff, think of this as Dead Alive…but in the woods, and much creepier.  (And I’m sure Peter Jackson won’t hate me for saying so, because let’s face it; Dead Alive is awesome because it goes from gore-tastic to hilarious.  On purpose.)

 On to the hardcore critic-ness.  I’ll discuss the movie, and talk about how it compares to the original.  Then I’ll tell you all the stuff I like about this film, and the very few things that didn’t rate superawesome.  Let’s get started.

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Movie Review: Olympus Has Fallen

“When our flag falls, our nation will rise.”  Even the tag line is made to pump (clap) you up.  And Olympus Has Fallen delivers the goods for anyone who wants to fist-pump and shout “ooh-RAH!” at a movie screen.  Well, you can shout that anytime, but here it’s actually appropriate.  Probably not so much during Silver Linings Playbook.

Director Antoine Fuqua brings the tension and realism he brought to Training Day and the shoot-em-up coolness from The Replacement Killers (an underrated gem).  First time writers Creighton Rothenberger and Katrin Benedikt are great at cool Sorkin-esque dialogue but do get mired in cliches.  However, an action flick without cliches is like a horror movie without a surprise twist.  Sure, it can be done.  But nowadays it’s a comfortable groove we all come to expect.  And if you let Olympus Has Fallen wash over you, you’ll get that same comfy feeling.  Maybe not the catharsis the filmmakers were aiming for, but damn it it’s not an enjoyable ride.

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Movie Review – “The Incredible Burt Wonderstone”

I saw a great magic trick the other night.  This trick was one that was skilled in the art of distraction, illusion, and even slight of hand. This trick had a few laughs but there were no moments of amazement or wonderment. And this trick was called  The Incredible Burt Wonderstone.  Director Don Scardino manages to take a movie that had some potential and allow it to become a not-so-funny comedy. Don’t get me wrong in that there are some funny moments and even a few that weren’t shown in the trailers and previews. But overall The Incredible Burt Wonderstone is a move that just falls flat in trying to do too much with what it has and not enough with what it should have been.

Grade: C+

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Movie Review: Stoker

Mia Wasikowska, Nicole Kidman, Matthew Goode star as the twisted family in this tale of not-so-secret secrets, ambiguous family quarrels and atmospheric tension laid on so thick it ceases to disturb after the first 10 minutes.  I never thought a film about a serial killer would be boring.  But if there’s one thing I’ve learned over my years of reviewing, it’s that I can always count on surprises. Unfortunately, there are no surprises in Stoker.  Uncle Charles (Goode), Sister-in-Law/Mom Evelyn (Kidman) and niece/daughter India (Wasikowska) are strange from the get-go, and with no character development there’s no intrigue.  It’s simply an endurance test ‘til the not-so-climactic climax.

Stoker tries to be a Hitchcock tribute with it’s coming-of-age story for psychopaths.  Pity it’s so dull.  Everything.  Is.  So.  Slow.  A meaningful slowness?  Hardly.  More like a pretentious bit of showmanship on the part of director  Park Chan-wook.  His “Vengeance Trilogy” (Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance, Oldboy, Sympathy for Lady Vengeance) are genre classics that use the same sort of cinematic style, but to greater effect.

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Movie Review: Oz the Great and Powerful

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!  Oh, but in Oz the Great and Powerful, he’s brought in for his close-up, and it’s an interesting look at how a con man from Kansas became the most powerful wizard in all of Oz.  Though this movie may not be “great and powerful”, it’s a lovely romp for fans of the original film, and a fun escape for children of all ages.  Well, except for perhaps the very young’uns, who may get scared of the flying gorillas.  What?  They creeped me out.  Don’t judge me.

Franco is cast well as a steampunk wizard prototype, a young con-man named Oz — his full name being Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Norman Henkel Emmannuel Ambroise Diggs — who accidentally lands in the Land of Oz after a run-in during his stint as a circus magician.  When I say “run-in”, I mean “running away from”.  And when I say “running away from”, I mean “running away from a jealous strongman whose girlfriend Oz was macking on”.  Because this Oz is a pimp.  A weasely mess of a magician whose dreams of becoming a great inventor are always sidetracked by his inability to do more than dream and pick up chicks.  If those of you that were non-plussed by Franco’s turn at the Oscars — and I’ve gotta say I figured he was riding the Pineapple Express the entire ceremony — doubt that he can pull off this character, let’s just say that Franco has an interesting combination of fecklessness and candor that works well here.

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Movie Review: 21 And Over

Jeff Chang turned 21 today.  Mazel Tov!  His two best friends from high school decide to pop in and surprise him with a bar-crawl blowout…but Jeff’s got “the” medical school interview at 8am tomorrow morning.  Oh you know this isn’t gonna end well.

21 And Over is made by the folks that gave us The Hangover, and luckily it’s more of the feel-good craziness of the first Hangover and not just warmed-over ideas packed into a college setting.  And the three leads do a fantastic job of taking moviegoers along for the ride.  Justin Chon (one of Bella’s non-sparkle pals in the Twilight series) plays Jeff Chang, a guy ground down to nothing by his overbearing father (François Chau, Lost).  Poor Jeff Chang — his friends call him by both first and last names, sounding like Jeffchang — is so beaten down that he doesn’t even want to celebrate this milestone in his life.  But party guy Miller (Miles Teller) decides to take charge, with their super-achieving friend Casey (Skylar Astin) deciding that one beer couldn’t hurt.  But with Miller’s promise that “I’m gonna fuck you with alcohol!”, it’s not gonna be a one-beer night.

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2012 Oscars – Best Picture Picks

UPDATED: SUN 02.24.12 @ 11:30AM

9 films is a lot.  Have you seen them all?  We’re devout movie geeks here and collectively we’ve seen them all but have very different opinions.  Click the link below to see our picks for the big statue, and let us know which film you think will take home the coveted golden man.  We’ll be posting all weekend and into Oscar night, so come back often, we’d love to hear from you!

Best Picture 2012 Nominees

Who do you think will win? Let us know!

 

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