It’s Hallow-Month!  So horror movies are naturally the way to go. Want to get to the nitty-gritty?  Here’s a little list I’ve borrowed from another source  that’ll help you get to what you’re looking for in a Halloween horror show.  Does Ouija measure up as Boo-tastic, or is it just a bomb?  Read on….

Story: Two little girls play around with an Ouija board.  Fast forward to high school, and one of those little girls hangs herself “under mysterious circumstances”.  Wanna guess how the other girl handles it?  If you said “by using the same Ouija board”, you should be a scriptwriter!

Scares: Even though this is cliché-central, there are a few Gotchas here, of the “jumped from the shadows” variety.

Splat factor: Not much blood, though there’s desiccated bodies, stitches where you wouldn’t want ‘em, and top-notch visual effects to signify possession.

Closing scene “shocker”?: Not if you know anything about horror movies.  But for the noobs, they could be shocked.  With this film, I expected a “leave room for a sequel” twist.

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Though the usual tropes can be found in just about every single horror movie since 1979, this movie’s an original. And by original I mean the first in an inevitable series.

Trick or Treat?: Ouija is more of a drinking-game film than a serious horror film.  Why else would the characters be so incredibly stupid?  “Hey, my BFF just died after strange stuff was happening to her.  Let’s whip out the Ouija board just lying on her bed to see if we can talk to her!  What could happen?”  What really made my eyes roll were the lack of grown-ups.  (Y’know, beyond the twenty-somethings playing high school students.)  A group of kids start dying, and nobody’s parents are around?  Anywhere?  C’mon.

Are there good points?  Surely.  The FX is top-notch, but with director Stiles White a member of Stan Winston’s shop, that’s to be expected.  Still, seeing that A-game level of effects made my evil heart happy.  David Emmerich’s cinematography is also fantastic, head and shoulders above the usual horror movie.  This is Emmerich’s first film as a cinematographer (though he’s got quite the resume in camerawork), and I’m looking forward to seeing more of his clear-eyed, ultra-sharp visual style.

The actors are all fun to watch, but they’re little more than walking dead with targets painted on ‘em.  Olivia Cooke as Deb, the brain trust that decides to use the Ouija board to summon her BFF, reminds me of a young(er) Rose Byrne.  I feel sorry for these actors for having to act out the motivations of teens with no clue, but then they got to work with some obviously talented FX folks, so it balances out.

Score: 2 out of 5 pumpkins.  One for the use of a slumber-party toy to wreak havoc, another for the cool FX.