Geek For E!

Geek For E!

Creators of the TwitView! Reviews in 140 characters or less.

Movie Review: Sparkle

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Sparkle is a reboot of a 1976 film starring Irene Cara (Fame), about the struggles a singer goes through in her quest to become a star.  This new version takes the story and gives it a few well deserved tweaks here and there, breathing new life into the film and giving the actors something to really sink their teeth into.

It’s 1968, and Sparkle (Jordin Sparks) is a girl who, like many other girls, writes in her notebook whenever she’s got something to say.  But unlike most, her writings are amazing songs that show real talent.  But she doesn’t believe that she’s got what it takes to perform, so she asks her sister, Sister (Carmen Ejogo, Away We Go) to get up on stage instead.  Beautiful and self assured, Sister brings the house down.  A music scout named Stix (Derek Luke, Antwone Fisher) sees the performance and persuades them to form a group with their other sister Dee (Tika Sumpter, Gossip Girl), Sister & the Sisters.  Only problem is, mama Emma (Whitney Houston) is a Church Lady of the highest order; this isn’t gonna fly with her.  But the girls sneak out and become a sensation…trouble is, bright lights and fame comes with a dark side.  At least they get to rock some seriously amazing costumes (from the brilliant Oscar-nominated designer Ruth E. Carter, of Amistad, Malcolm X and Serenity).

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Movie Review: The Odd Life of Timothy Green

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The Odd Life of Timothy Green is a wonderful fairy tale for parents, would-be parents, and folks who wanna be parents.  And if you’re fine with talk of parenthood, kids and the struggle many have to become parents, you’ll enjoy this sweet story.  Good work, Disney, for coming up with a fairy tale for grownups.

Cindy (Jennifer Garner, with a fantastic Small Town Chic wardrobe) and Jim Green (Joel Edgerton) have done just about everything they possibly can in order to become parents.  Unfortunately, the good ol’ fashioned way isn’t in the stars for them.  So one night, over many glasses of wine, they draw up a “dream list” of things they’d love to see in the child they’ll never have.  What starts off as tearful ends up as a joyful (and drunken) riot of cheering, laughing and bittersweet wishing.  They put the list in an old cigar box and bury it in their garden, thinking they’ve closed the door on that chapter of their lives.  Surprise!  In a freak rainstorm that only seems to drench their yard, they find that they’re not alone; a muddy child has found his way into their home.  A child named Timothy — Cindy and Jim’s dream-list name — that calls them Mom and Dad.  There’s a hole in the garden where the cigar box used to be, and the kid has leaves on his ankles.  Guess the old “cabbage patch” tale could be true….

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Movie Review: Hope Springs

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Hope springs eternal in the human breast;
Man never Is, but always To be blest:
The soul, uneasy and confin’d from home,
Rests and expatiates in a life to come.

– Alexander Pope, An Essay on Man

Hope Springs, the movie where Tommy Lee Jones just says no to Meryl Streep.  Is the man insane?  Well, in a world where “Grey Divorce” rates are climbing, a film that looks at longstanding relationships is definitely a timely one.  Luckily, Hope Springs is buoyed by brilliant performances by it’s leads and a script that doesn’t pull any punches.  It’s a wonderful look at the ins and outs of a couple that has spent over 30 years together and still have a relationship worth rooting for.

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Movie Review: Total Recall

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First off, I never saw the 1990 original. Yeah, I know. But there it is. So I am going to crank through this movie as a newbie to the story. No, the ending hasn’t been spoiled for me, and I am as shocked as you that I’ve managed to miss that all these years.

What I do know: the original Total Recall is about a huge steroidal dude who may or may not be a killer/spy/Bad MoFo. But at the start of the film he is just a schmo that has always wanted to visit Mars. (It’s the future, so that’s a thing.) Since our schmo doesn’t have the money to actually go to Mars, he visits Total Rekall, a place that can remember it for you, wholesale (shout out to  Philip K. Dick short story that these films are based on). But our hero has what can be graciously called an atypical experience, and soon it’s a hunt for what’s real and what isn’t. Oh yeah, there’s an alien chick with three boobs and the world’s most permanent divorce.

How does this re-imagining stack up to the little I know about the first film?

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Movie Review: Ruby Sparks

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Pygmalion.  My Fair Lady.  Born Yesterday.  Pretty Woman.  Trading Places.  She’s All That.  The the original Pygmalion myth — and it’s themes of personal identity and the perils of idolizing something you’ve created — has been a go-to story for ages.  You’d think there wouldn’t be a single new way to spin it, but Ruby Sparks manages to breathe life (ahem) into this classic story.  While it may be more fairy tale than fable, the Ruby Sparks can proudly stand beside the best of these re-interpretations thanks to a brilliant performance and screenplay by Zoe Kazan (It’s Complicated) and a skilled touch by co-directors Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris (Little Miss Sunshine).

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Movie Review: The Watch

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Raunchy, potty-mouthed humor!  Famous guys we love to watch making asses of themselves!  The Watch, the latest boobies, booze & bros comedy is heading your way, and this time there’s gonna be an interstellar throwdown.  Is this The Hangover: Who Invited The Aliens?  Well kinda.  And it kinda rocks.  Oh yeah, and this movie may be manly, yes, but gals will like it too.

Evan (Ben Stiller) is a kindly pain in the ass.  You know the dude in your neighborhood that is in charge of just about every neighborhood group, the fella who is a bit too in-your-face to be truly neighborly?  Yeah, that’s Evan.  So when something bad goes down at the local Costco, Evan — who just so happens to be the manager of that Costco, thankyouverymuch — decides to form a neighborhood watch.  The problem is, only three guys show up to the first meeting.  Bob (Vince Vaughn), an overprotective dad with quite possibly the coolest Man Cave ever; Franklin (Jonah Hill), a guy that never got over not making it onto the police force; and Jamarcus (Richard Ayoade, from the hilarious BBC show The IT Crowd), a guy who is new in town and just wants to hook up with an asian chick meet new people.  Needless to say this watch is more about drinking and hanging out than security.  But when the guys stumble upon real, honest-to-goodness aliens, they need to step up or face the destruction of the world.

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Movie Review — Ai Weiwei: Never Sorry

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In a world full of information, how do you figure out what’s truly important?  How do you make sure you learn about the world if there are parts of that world that are hidden from view?  Artist and political/social dissident Ai Weiwei (as his name is Chinese, his “surname” is first, and his “first” name is second, got it?) shines a harsh light on the Chinese Government’s corruption, cover-ups and lies, at great personal risk.  All the while creating art that is as breathtaking in it’s complexity as is the man himself.  Ai Weiwei: Never Sorry takes viewers through the most harrowing years of Ai’s life, showing not only the man but the injustice that lead him to act.  It’s a powerful, thought-provoking film that demands to be watched.

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Movie Review: Ted

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There are movies that you know are gonna be fantastic.  Then there are movies that you hope will be fantastic, but you have a sneaking suspicion Hollywood could really screw the pooch on this movie with little to no effort.  I was definitely in the latter camp with Ted, but fortunately it’s a good-time film that will make Seth MacFarlane fans very happy and leave everyone else in the theater with a ton of off-color laughs.  Does it kinda feel like a two hour live version of tv’s Family Guy?  Well, yeah.  But we’re talking about the story of a living, toking (no, I didn’t mean talking, though he does that too) teddy bear here, so that’s not a bad thing.

Picture this: a beautiful Christmas Day in Boston.  Snow on the ground, kids bundled up tight against the cold, Patrick Stewart’s soothing Shakespearean voice narrating the festivities.  And a little boy wishing on a Christmas star that his beloved teddy bear could be his living, breathing best friend forever.  Ahh, Currier & Ives, right?  Uh, back it up a sec.  This is, after all, Seth MacFarlane’s Boston, so you know something’s coming.  Sure enough, before you can say “isn’t that sweet?”, there’s a flurry of crude, made all the funnier by Stewart’s deadpan delivery.  The crude, unapologetic humor only snowballs — taking a winter motif and running with it y’all — from there.  As the years go by, little John Bennett and his pal Ted go from sweet playtime buddies to beer-n-bong bros.  Cut to present day, and John’s girlfriend of 4 years wants John to grow up and not spend so much time (getting stoned) with Ted.  Let’s see how far that gets her.

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Movie Review: Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter

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No no, don’t turn away.  Keep reading.  This isn’t a joke.  Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter is the first film made from the wealth of historical/horror spoofs that have been hitting bookstores over the past few years (Sense and Sensibilities and Seamonsters, anyone?)  Thankfully, Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter rises above it’s one-joke premise and delivers a spine-tingling rush of action that makes it a perfect summer treat.

“History prefers legends to men”, Lincoln says in voiceover as the film begins, and it’s the truth regardless of our current obsession with reality television.  We love to stare at the glorious enormity of the Lincoln Memorial, but beyond the stovepipe hat & trusty axe, what do we really know about the man?  The screenplay (and novel on which this film is based) from Seth Grahame-Smith (The Hard Times of RJ Berger) gives us a possibility.  Sure, it’s a far-out fabrication, but there’s also a love of country and a desire for the freedom of all people tucked in there that got to me.  Sure, it’s produced by Tim Burton, but it doesn’t have the wacky Burton/Depp-ness that has fallen flat of late (Dark Shadows anyone?  Anyone?)

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Movie Review: The Intouchables

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I look at foreign films with subtitles as I would any film in my native tongue; is it an interesting movie?  Will I be drawn in?  Reading bits at the bottom of a screen has never been a problem for me if the film is good.  So if you’re on the fence about The Intouchables (a French film that has become so popular that it’s France’s highest-grossing non-English language film) don’t worry about reading.  This film will suck you in, and before long you’ll be eagerly awaiting the next bit of text.  Like champagne — another import from France I adore — The Intouchables is a bubbly bit of fun with just the right balance of bitter and sweet.


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