Twitview — Scarlett Johansson bares more than her skin in this acid-trip sci-fi story.  And it pays off.

You’re probably used to seeing Scarlett Johansson being an A-#1 Badass lately.  With The Avengers, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, and the upcoming Lucy, she’s all sortsa fierce.  But in Under the Skin, she plays a no-named alien whose mission is to lure men to a black room, where they’re sucked into a pit and…well, not quite sure.  Director Jonathan Glazer (Sexy Beast) gives you an intimate look into the life of a creature that lives to carry out her orders.  It’s a fascinating look, and a damn intriguing film.  Truth be told, you’ll either love it or you’ll hate it.  Glazer’s strange, wandering storytelling, and his freaky way of giving no character a name will either drive you bonkers, or allow you to sink in and immerse yourself in the story.  Think of Under the Skin as a sci-fi art film, one that’s more interested in mood and performance than substance.  It asks the question what does it mean to be human, and gives no real answers.  If you’re okay with that, you’ll be amazed at the performances and themes in the film.  If not?  Well, you’ll most likely want to see me roast in hell for telling you this movie is fascinating stuff.  Potato, po-tah-to.

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Twitview: Just like the NFL, good enough isn’t good enough.  Fun, but lacking.  3 stars.

There’s something about Draft Day I can’t seem to pin down.  Taken in pieces, it’s a fun film.  The scenes with Costner’s Clevenand Brown’s GM Sonny Weaver Jr. dealing with other GMs are funny, light and definitely Dude Banter at it’s best.  Then there’s Jennifer Garner, Ellen Burstyn, Denis Leary, Chi McBride: all amazing.  Kevin Costner’s doing some of his best work in ages.  Frank Langella is tearing up the screen with wicked glee as Cleveland Browns owner Anthony Molina (not to be confused with the real owner of the Browns, Jimmy Haslam).  There’s also several almost fully fleshed-out wannabe ballers with their own well-crafted backstory (my favorite: Chadwick Boseman as a truly good-guy player that just wants to go pro).  And all the NFL pomp & circumstance of the big day, complete with the NFL’s blessing (which means the climax really feels like you’re in the thick of it.)

But.  Why don’t I absolutely love Draft Day?

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TWITVIEW: funky, fun and fabulous.  Anderson at his best, with a film even newbies to his work can enjoy. A+

I used to worry that I wasn’t cool enough for Wes Anderson movies.  Not enough hipster chic cred, too much of a nerdy horror geek.  And I’ll admit it, Bottle Rocket just didn’t do it for me.  (I still stand by my though that it’s a great Dude Film though.)  Then I saw The Royal Tenenbaums, and fell in love with Anderson’s quirky-but-touching style of storytelling.  Things have only been getting better and better with Anderson’s work, and though there’ve been a few inevitable bumps in the road (The Darjeeling Limited felt like a muddledtwist on Tenenbaums rather than an original piece) his latest, The Grand Budapest Hotel is his best work to date.  Charming, witty, heart-tugging and hilarious, The Grand Budapest Hotel is definitely a film for fans of the auteur, and also an enjoyable romp for folks who have feared to tread into his wondrously wacky style.

Anderson lists early 20th Century author Stefan Zweig, as an influence on Budapest’s screenplay.  All I can say is if that’s true, I’m itching to get my hands on some of Zweig’s work.  There’s a thoughtful blend of madcap adventure (echoing Muppets Most Wanted, a film that share’s Budapest’s release date here; hey, what a great double-feature!), bittersweet coming-of-age, and flat-out camp.  Anderson takes all these pieces and weaves them into an easily understood storyline that keeps filmgoers entertained throughout.

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Twitview: 300 Part Deux — This Time It’s On Boats, With More People.  Pity more people = less actual story.  Grade: C

“THIS IS SPARTA!”

Yes, you’ll hear that famous bon mot in this sequel to 300, the film that made screaming references to ancient Greek cities cool.  You’ll also see a few of the faces from the original film here too.  In fact, there’s a whole lot of “I’ve seen this” in 300: Rise of an Empire (from now on I’ll call it Rise, because I’m just not feeling tapping out the full title over and over ad nauseum).  What you won’t see is anything more compelling than flashy eye-candy for gorehounds.  As a gorehound, I enjoyed every CGI-blood-y moment of the battles.  Unfortunately, I wish Rise had more than just slash & tear to rest it’s helmet on.

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There are books so amazing that people want to make them into movies.  There are movies so horrible that the books they’re based on are forever tainted by the jeers and catcalls of cinemagoers and at home bad-movie marathons.  But when an author loses the rights to any future remakes, guess what?  You get another Endless Love.  Definitely not a story about one young man’s borderline psychotic obsession with a girl and her family, this new film is all about l’amour, and how two young people fight hard to keep it.  And while it’s leaps and bounds better than the horrible train wreck that was Zefferelli’s version back in 1981, the main thing this Endless Love has going for it is that it doesn’t totally suck.

You say you’ve seen teen romance flicks before? Yeah you have.  And if you’re wondering if there’s anything different about this film, there isn’t.  It’s got the usual Harlequin storyline: boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love, there is An Obstacle, there is Another Obstacle, then cue the possibility of a Happy Ending.  This Endless Love throws in the basics from the film before it (and Scott Spencer’s novel on which they’re both based), and throws out everything else.  If you’re looking for a film that’ll put you through the wringer and then give you hearts and flowers as an end-scene apology, this is just the ticket.  But as with other films based on beloved novels that have come onto the scene lately, anyone wanting to see the original story brought to life is best served by re-reading the source material.

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Twitview: Avoid. The stills from this film are better than the film itself. 1 out of 5

Renny Harlin harkens back to his Cutthroat Island days with The Legend of Hercules, a film so derivative and dull that I’m shocked it took me 45 minutes to want to check Candy Crush Saga. Hercules is a mish-mosh of 300, The Matrix, and Braveheart (let’s take back our kingdom y’all!), a testosterone fest too dull for even the biggest fan of bloodsport. Think Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome meets Clash of the Titans, but with no bits of humor to make it enjoyable, nor convincing storyline to make anyone care about who lives or dies.

I had high hopes for this film. A bunch of beautiful men in skirts. Not too shabby, right? Add Psychotic king and his bereaved wife, who decides to opt for a little Olympic hanky-panky. Meanwhile the heir to the throne — and Hercules’ half-brother — is a petulant wimp that couldn’t find his…purpose in life…with two hands and a road map. All of that makes for a promising hero-bent-on-revenge flick.  Ahh, empty promises.

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