Father and son. Is there anything more adorable? Well, maybe a puppy licking ice cream. But really, the theme of father and son is something that tends to warm the cockles of anyone’s heart. And since warm cockles is a good thing (so I’ve heard; as I don’t know what a cockle is, I’ll take that as truth) wouldn’t the team of Jaden Smith and his father Will be just a cute fest of awesome? Well….
Cute fest? Yes. Absolutely. Awesome? Um, not so much. Their new movie After Earth isn’t bad. The problem is After Earth isn’t particularly good either. Sorry M. Night Shyamalan, you’ll have to look to your next directorial effort for redemption from The Last Airbender. Or The Lady In The Water. Or The Happening. Perhaps a vacation to rejuvenate is in order? I hear stone massages are the bomb.
Speaking of bombs, After Earth takes place after we humans crapped up the planet we call home. And much like locusts, we then flew off to someplace else (and probably crapped that up too), leaving Earth to go do it’s own thing. A thousand years later, Earth is Darwin’s theory come true, with all sorts of evolved beasties turning our once habitable planet into a danger zone of the highest order. Heck, humans can’t even breathe the air comfortably anymore, as Earth’s atmosphere is too low in oxygen to support the current crop of folks. Meanwhile, on the planet humans now call home, there are dangerous beasties too; aliens called Ursa that can carve us up like deli meat and sniff us out based on our fear are hunted by the Ranger Corps. Nobody embodies the Ranger Corps better than living legend Cypher Raige (Will Smith). Problem is, his young wanna-be Ranger son Kitai (Jaden Smith) lacks the discipline necessary to “Ghost” — turning off fear so the alien beasties can’t find you — and isn’t making the grade. But Cyper decides to bring Kitai on a training mission or something (honestly, it’s tough to care enough to remember) and when things go wonky, guess where they crash land? With a captured Ursa on board? That totally gets loose? With Kitai the only one that can save his dad? Yeah, you’re absolutely right.